A Powerful Thing

At any age, any stage, women will find what they need at Hope Pregnancy Center (HPC).  Tonya*, a forty-three-year-old, happily married, financially secure and experienced mother, never anticipated needing the services of such a ministry.

“I don’t fit the profile,” she explained.  “I get the young or new mothers who would need Hope.  I get the over-stressed mom who already has her hands full with little ones or who maybe has no money and no support system.  I understand why those women might go looking for a place like this—everyone understands—but there are other hard situations, too.  People need to know there are older women like me who are afraid of having a baby for other reasons.”

Tonya almost died giving birth to her third child.  “I have dangerously high blood pressure,” Tonya explains.  “My daughter was born at 28 weeks and had all kinds of complications.  It was terrifying!  When it was all over and I was stable, the doctor took my hand, looked me in the eye and said, ‘Tonya, you CANNOT do this again!  Do you understand me?  If you have another baby, you will die.’  I believed him.  Why wouldn’t I?”

“When I found out I was pregnant again, I was mortified,” Tonya said.  “I panicked.  All I could think was, ‘What have I done?’”

With three children at home, one of them still very young, Tonya felt she had a choice to make.  She believed the doctor who said she would die if she had another baby.  She felt like if she went ahead with the pregnancy, she would be taking her children’s mother away from them.  It didn’t matter what she chose, she said it just felt wrong.

Before she could schedule an abortion, Tonya needed to know how far along her pregnancy was.  Unable to get an appointment with her doctor quickly, Tonya turned to Hope, Ardmore.  “They got me in the next day,” Tonya said, “and verified I was ten weeks along.  They spent time with me, talked with me, made sure I knew that I was not in this alone, but I felt compelled to protect my kids, so I scheduled a termination anyway.”

One evening, Tonya’s husband came home and said, “We can’t do this.  We just can’t.  What would we miss if we do?” Tonya didn’t argue.  She was still scared, but she told him, “Okay, if this is how you feel, I won’t go against you.  We’re in this together.”

Over the next few months, Tonya got the specialized medical help she needed from the knowledgeable doctors and nurses at OU and the emotional help she needed from the volunteers at HPC.

“I hesitated to go to Hope at first.  Religion and spirituality are very private matters for me.  I was afraid I would get sermons or told how horrible I was, but there wasn’t any. Sally, the Hope volunteer, was always very compassionate and calm.  She helped me see the baby was a gift from God.  She said, “You can relax and let God take care of it.” It was the first time I realized I didn’t have to be in control.  I didn’t have to blame myself anymore or live in fear.  I might have been at fault for my actions before, but from that moment on, I could do the right things—everything you’re supposed to do when you’re pregnant—and then give it to God and let Him decide how it would go.”

Once again, Tonya gave birth at 28 weeks.  There were complications, as she spent 45 days in the hospital with her baby boy.

“When I look at him, I’m just so grateful!” said Tonya.  “He’s wonderful.  When I think about what we almost missed out on it makes me sad.  My son was meant to be here!  I’m so thankful for a husband who had the courage to speak up and who was willing to do everything else so I could just focus on staying healthy and having a healthy baby.”

Tonya continued, “I’m thankful for doctors who know what they’re doing, and I’m thankful for the ladies at Hope, Ardmore who were willing to reach out to a hysterical and embarrassed middle-aged mom, help her process her thoughts and feelings and love her through her fear.  If I hadn’t walked through the doors of Hope, I really don’t think I would have gone through with the pregnancy.  Fear is a powerful thing, but thankfully, love is stronger.”

In 2021, your gifts allowed Hope to perform 2,455 pregnancy tests and provide education to men and women during their unplanned pregnancies.  Your gifts helped 82% of men and women choose LIFE after seeing their baby on ultrasound.  Your gifts provided 52 men and women with the opportunity to respond to the gospel message by professing faith in Christ.

*name changed for confidentiality